My Pointy Ears
I'm such a sucker these days for personal validation — I suspect it's a condition brought on by this over long period of being ungainfully unemployed. So, I could hardly resist the temptation to follow someone's pointer to the "How Logical Are You?" quiz. I took a few minutes and answered the 8 questions (which I thought didn't address so much how logical I was as how readily I could draw an appropriate Venn diagram, but who am I to argue?) and was delighted with the result:
You Are Incredibly Logical
(You got 100% of the questions right)
Move over Spock – you're the new master of logic
You think rationally, clearly, and quickly.
A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!
Obviously, I was going to be terribly disappointed if I hadn't gotten all the answers correct — but then, I wouldn't have mentioned it here, either.
This result comes as no surprise. No, I don't mean the "incredibly logical" bit so much as the "Move over Spock" bit.
Have I ever mentioned my ears? If you saw a picture of me now (follow some of the links to find pictures on our other websites), you'd wonder "what about his ears" since they look reasonably normal the way they are now.
The point is this: my ears have always been this size, but my head was much smaller when I was much younger.
So, when I was in grade school, I looked like a real dork and was frequently compared to Spock, even though my ears were not particularly pointy then, just prominent. It was no fun being made fun of all the time. (It was that much worse since I was branded early on as a fairy, although my own homosexual self-realization was years away.)
At one point my parents took me to consult some sort of plastic surgeon (I presume) about the possibility of having my ears "pinned back". It sounded okay, but by that point the cure seemed out of proportion to the problem. I decided, supported by my supportive parents, just to stick with the ears the way they were and grow into them. We were solid midwestern stock; that was how we dealt with things.
While I waited, I put my talents to good use by learning to wiggle my ears, both together and individually. I figured that if people were going to stare, I'd give them something amusing and disarming to stare at. It was empowering.
Things happened as we expected: eventually my head caught up with my ears and the youthful trauma receeded. I can still wiggle my ears, too, if I concentrate. Maybe I should add that to my resume.
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I welcome comments -- even dissent -- but I will delete without notice irrelevant, rude, psychotic, or incomprehensible comments, particularly those that I deem homophobic, unless they are amusing. The same goes for commercial comments and trackbacks. Sorry, but it's my blog and my decisions are final.
on Friday, 22 April 2005 at 12.49
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Unless you're trying to land a job at "Saturday Night Live" or the Comedy Channel, I'd caution against putting ear-wiggling on the resume.