Secretary of Smaller Government
The big headline on the radio today is the resignation of Tom Ridge, Secretary of Homeland Security. References are made to his memorable association with a useless hierarchy of colors, suggesting that this might be how his tenure will be remembered.
I make my own modest suggestion: perhaps he should be remembered as an icon. No, not an icon of Homeland Security (that problem of securing the homeland against terrorists and criminals had already been taken care of, according to the retiring Secretary of "Justice" John Ashcroft, evidently jockying for position as that icon). Rather, I think we should enshrine Secretary Ridge as a Republican symbol of smaller government.
Indeed, you say: although this Republican administration offers much lip service about smaller government it nevertheless proceeds to expand the government to record size.
Exactly! I say. Who then, is more appropriate in this topsy-turvy lexicon to serve as the poster boy of smaller government than the first ever Secretary of Homeland Security, a shiney, new, giant department with a newly minted cabinet secretary. Apparently Ridge represents everything that Republican proponents of smaller government are looking for, and would be the perfect choice.
Hey! Maybe it's time for a new cabinet-level position: the Secretary of Smaller Government.