Faith-Based Fear of Flying
Do People of Faith (hereafter PoFs) fly in airplanes? I would think that they'd feel faced with ever-present and fatal danger if they do.
Many of us in this semi-rational, post-enlightenment age believe that airplanes are kept aloft through the thoughtful application of the predictable laws of godless, atheistic aerodynamics. We enjoy with good humor those laughable images of PoFs trying to fly through the application of faith-based principles and crashing to the ground. Their effors were universally more ballistic than aerodynamic.
For PoFs to fly today should seem equally risky. Setting aside for the moment that their use of airplances marks them as taking advantage of the atheistic, rational science for which they claim disdainful lack of belief and which they pretend to eschew completely, there are still reasons that PoFs should avoid travel by heavier-than-air machines.
- In a faith-based approach to science, it is essentially the strength of collective faith in revealed "scientific truths" that establishes the credibilty of those "truths".
- We know that their God, from whom all "scientific truths" flow, can appear unpredictable and capricious ("working in mysterious ways" and all that), not to mention vindictive, in the eyes and tiny little minds of mere mortals.
- In particular, we know (from PoFs themselves) that said deity frequently expresses disapproval by, e.g., allowing very tall buildings to be destroyed by airplanes [!], or by sending hurricanes, earthquakes, mudslides, and other "natural" disasters to devastate areas of our country, generally as retribution for the PoF's lax attitudes towards homosexuals, people who have abortions, and others who offend said deity.
- Presumably, this category of people towards whom the PoFs are too lax also includes the godless airplane designers who dare use atheistic aerodynamics in the first place, since by doing so they mock the "natural scientific truths" provided by the deity.
- Immersed in modern, technological society as they are — one might even say imprisoned — PoFs find themselves virtually surrounded at all times by those who would flout the "natural laws" given to the PoFs by their "faith-based science".
- This makes it increasingly likely that:
- They will find themselves the minority among the passengers on an airplane whose majority is made up of godless, atheistic homosexuals, people who have had abortions, and other followers of aerodynamics; and
- Their deity, in an unpredictably capricious and vindictive mood, may choose their flight as a perfect opportunity to smite down a choice batch of the godless by witholding his grace and letting the plane fall from the sky.
Unfortunately, estimating the smiting probability is precluded at this time because it is not clear whether the contribution from the Power-of-Prayer term (PP) is a first-order term or a second-order correction.
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on Monday, 20 June 2005 at 14.19
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I have a hard time believing planes will stay aloft without some divine intervention, which is why I'm terrified of flying–I know there ain't no divine anything.
Faith based people, on the other hand, are probably quite comfortable on planes, knowing they're closer to their God, who lives up in the clouds, you see.
on Thursday, 23 June 2005 at 18.48
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"godless, atheistic homosexuals, people who have had abortions, and other followers of aerodynamics"
That line made me laugh out loud.
Something even more interesting:
My current Biblical research has turned up something truly astonishing. It is a fact that in the Bible you can find coded entries representing the varying speeds for Mach numbers at different altitudes, pressures and temeperatures. These coded entries can be "de-encoded" with the correct, time/symbol varying equations, and are all correlated with instances of the number sequence "666", which also is encoded in the bible, but using a different divine codec, and only as a warning, not as an endorsement of that particular number sequence. Anyway, as correlation does not equal causation, it is clear that there is no "natural" cause for these coded entries to be there. Divine communications is the only rational answer.
on Monday, 4 July 2005 at 18.39
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And if you have a believer in the old Greek gods, and Zeus decides to flatten him with a thunderbolt, it would screw up the avionics, so it would seem regardless of your religious beliefs, please stay out of planes.