The Gay Boyfriend

We spent the evening at some friends' house — they were hosting a party for another friend, who turned 50 today. I was hoping to pick up some pointers on crossing the 50s threshold since I'm going to be doing it myself in just a few months.

Anyway, late in the evening I was having some conversation with the hosts' son, who is himself turning 5 tomorrow. I usually understand most of what he tells me, although sometimes it takes a bit of warming up to tune my ear to his particular youthful dialect.

At one point he asked "Do you know what I got for Christmas?"

"Why no, what did you get?"

"Mommy and Daddy gave me a gay boyfriend!"

I will admit that this announcement nearly took my breath away. His parents are certainly progressive, but this struck me as even too progressive for them. I did my best to show no reaction on my face and maintain a neutral tone of voice.

"Oh — how nice! Would you tell me more about it?"

As he related more details, it gradually became clear that what he'd actually received was a "game boy".

That realization came as a bit of a relief. Of course, it provided a few moments of great amusement when I related the story later, after all the kids had gone to bed. We all agreed that the gay boyfriend might be nice, but probably in a few years when he could enjoy it more.

Posted on January 30, 2006 at 01.27 by jns · Permalink
In: All, Laughing Matters

One Response

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  1. Written by S.W. Anderson
    on Monday, 30 January 2006 at 03.24
    Permalink

    That's priceless. It reminds that kids' words don't always mean what adults' words mean. And it reminds me of an old joke. Excuse me if you've heard it before. As best I can recall, it goes something like this.

    A teacher was telling his young students about a formal ceremony he attended when visiting India.

    "And out on the grounds, in the hot, high-summer sun, stood long rows of British soldiers. Despite the heat and humidity, they looked sharp in their fresh khaki uniforms with short breeches, pith helmets shielding their heads from the sun."

    Whereupon a little boy in the back of the room began giggling, causing other kids to giggle as well.

    The teacher paused and went on. Then several students asked questions. One boy mentioned that his father had a pith helmet.

    Whereupon the same boy in the back of the class began giggling again. And again, this created a stir among others around him.

    Exasperated, the teacher stepped to the back of the room and motioned to tamp down the giggling. Then, he asked the boy who'd started the commotion, "Eddie, what is it about pith helmets that you find so funny?"

    Realizing that all eyes were on him, Eddie worked hard to stifle any more giggling. Then he explained:

    "I gueth it'th . . . pith helmeth. Why, thath ridiculouth!"

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