But It's Not the Same!
Most of us who are gay are well aware of the truism that the loudest, cruelest homophobes are most usually the most deeply closeted, self-hating homosexuals. It seems to be the mental dichotomy that arises from the harsh disapprobation one gets from society, frequently at the hands of over moralizing fundamentalists. This, of course, is a facile summary of a deeply complicated problem, a dilemma that really only causes suffering, suffering, and more suffering.
Denial of self is common in hyper-moral situations, and it gives us this curious mixture of shrill, hysterical self-righteousness in public, with agonizing denial in private. Every person caught in this dilemma can explain why he or she "is not like all those others", regardless of which vilified group might be the current target. Again: needless, pointless suffering, suffering, and more suffering.
This is not restricted to those of us pitiful enough to persist in our devotion to the homosexual lifestyle either. Thanks to Avedon Carol ("Better than you"), who links to the article "'The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion': When the Anti-Choice Choose" by Joyce Arthur (link in AC's post), we have stories that reveal the different ways in which anti-choice women justify their own abortions, women who "aren't like those other" whores, sluts, or promiscuous black women having abortions "by choice". No, no, their case is different and unique — they wouldn't expect you to understand.
To re-quote one of the stories:
"My first encounter with this phenomenon came when I was doing a 2-week follow-up at a family planning clinic. The woman's anti-choice values spoke indirectly through her expression and body language. She told me that she had been offended by the other women in the abortion clinic waiting room because they were using abortion as a form of birth control, but her condom had broken so she had no choice! I had real difficulty not pointing out that she did have a choice, and she had made it! Just like the other women in the waiting room." (Physician, Ontario)
But we do understand, all too well.
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I welcome comments -- even dissent -- but I will delete without notice irrelevant, rude, psychotic, or incomprehensible comments, particularly those that I deem homophobic, unless they are amusing. The same goes for commercial comments and trackbacks. Sorry, but it's my blog and my decisions are final.
on Thursday, 9 March 2006 at 03.43
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I get your point about the in-denial types, and it's a good one.
But I tend to think the woman in that clever anecdote was mostly just an airhead who was kidding herself and trying to kid others.
It really is wrong and a shame that judgmental people on a moralistic power trip get to warp others' psyche. Being a Christian of sorts, I can't help but wonder if people who do that aren't called to account at some point.
Where I'm coming from on that is a belief that a kind, loving God-the-father would not and could not let "children" of his be created in such a way that from birth on they would be abominations in his eyes.
What I think is that ancient tribes, those of Israel most certainly, lived in a dangerous, highly competitive environment in which numbers mattered greatly. The bigger the tribe, the people, the civilization, the better able it would be to fight off invaders and maintain its independence. Numbers also helped see it through plagues and natural disasters.
Obviously, same-sex couples wouldn't contribute to the desired growth in population, so they were considered detrimental to the safety and survival of their society.
So the original rap against gays and lesbians was for entirely practical reasons, in the context of those times. There were strictures against "spilling seed," another nonprocreative sexual activity, for the same reason.
This mindset, this ancient popular wisdom, got passed down through generations and at some point wound up in written form. Eventually, it was written into the Bible, as God's final word on the subject, yet.
That's my theory, for whatever it's worth. I can't prove any of it, but it makes more sense to me than anything else I've heard or read.
on Thursday, 9 March 2006 at 17.01
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It's quite possible that the deep roots of phohibitions against homosexuality are what you describe, in a "go forth and multiply" age of humanity, but I'm thinking more of those who have an irrational and disproportionate response to homosexuality (or, say, abortion or other flash-point topics of the hyper-moral). These are the worst homophobes, the ones who hysterically claim that "they don't fear homosexuals!" but have developed some obsessive anxiety about it. The almost universal presumption is that the anxiety and obsessive hysteria is rooted in that person's own fear that he may be — gasp! — homosexual himself.
Most well-adjusted heterosexuals probably will never understand in a visceral way the source of this homophobia, what we who have managed to come out after being closeted easily recognize as internalized self-loathing.
When it comes to equality for gay people, or the acceptance of gay bashing — and I mean the blood-drenched physical attacks and not the metaphorical — it's these self-loathing homophobes who are the most dangerous and the biggest impediments to living life with the liberty to pursue happiness.
on Friday, 10 March 2006 at 02.47
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You're probably right about "the worst homophobes," Jeff. But I'm sure heterosexuals who perversely boost their own feelings of superiority by denigrating others are well represented among "those who have an irrational and disproportionate response to homosexuality."