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Presidential Crap

Fascinating. (From Wayne Madsen Report.)

July 4, 2006 — Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most. The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

Posted on July 7, 2006 at 12.31 by jns · Permalink
In: All, Common-Place Book, Curious Stuff

2 Responses

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  1. Written by S.W. Anderson
    on Saturday, 8 July 2006 at 02.27
    Permalink

    While I was stationed on Guam, President Nixon flew in on his way to Asia. Prior to his arrival, the base Veterinarian/Military Public Health officer got a special order.

    A Military Public Health specialist was to do drinking water analyses on 24 five-gallon jugs of water, so some of them chosen at random could be immediately taken out for loading onto Air Force 1. The specialist had to come in on his day off to do this. The whole operation was overseen by a Secret Service guy, and he and another SS man accompanied the water jugs out to AF 1.

    Those of us on hand were impressed, but not in a positive way. Consider, we had thousands of military personnel, E-1 up to four-star general, all branches of service, on that island. Plus, thousands more dependents. Plus all sorts of government civilian workers and contractors. We all just drank the damn water — and lots of it in that extremely hot, humid tropical climate — and we all did just fine.

    For reasons never explained or explicable, however, the water was considered too risky for Nixon until proven otherwise.

    So, the special toilet business comes as no surprise.

    I strongly suspect Madsen or someone is reading into this factoid that the purpose of it is to secure the president's waste (oh, what a chance for lowball sarcasm). More likely, the purpose is to protect the president's carcass while he's eliminating, that being a time when the man is alone and somewhat more vulnerable.

    Then again, given how secretive Bush and Cheney are, it could reflect Bush's firm determination to avoid the embarrassment of learning his droppings are up for auction on eBay.

  2. Written by Bob_Boudelang
    on Monday, 10 July 2006 at 01.58
    Permalink

    The prez doesn't want the world to know what chemicals are in his system

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