Beard of the Week XVIII: Bulgarian Wedding Bells
|
|
This week's beard belongs to Azis, described by the Sofia News Agency as "Bulgaria's famed Roma transvestite". It seems that Azis, following what was to be his farewell appearance in Sofia, was set to fly to Germany to get married. The original caption to the lower photo read:
Bulgaria's famed Roma transvestite Azis (R) exchanged rings, vows and gentle kisses with his long-time lover Niki Kitaetsa (The Chinese), at a special ceremony in Sofia on Wednesday. Photo by bulphoto
Aren't weddings romantic, particularly when it's two men getting married!
Two interesting issue swirl around Azis and his beard for me this week. One is the fact that he performs in various outrageous yet fabulous drag outfits (more fabulous photos of Azis here), and yet he is most definitely not a female impersonator. As evidence one notes his prominant beard, which he integrates into his ensembles. It seems more a glam outgrowth than classic cross-dressing or traditional drag performance — a post-modern gender-bending that asserts his masculinity at the same time as his outfits assert something other. It's the spice of contrast.
This relates for me to the earlier discussion I had about how drag queens make some men, notably some gay men, uncomfortable for any number of reasons, most traceable to their internal view of themselves as separate, as not one of them, which I believe is a corrosive attitude. Here is Azis with his in-your-face challenge that says accept that we are all part of the human panorama and enjoy it! It can be a challenge to get past all that attitude and see what's being offered with fresh and unprejudiced eyes, but it's worth the taking the challenge.
And then there's the question of marriage between two men or two women; to me, of course, the idea seems entirely natural. To most children too, of course, most of whom shock their parents sooner or later by wanting to marry their best friend, invariably of the same gender.
Ten or fifteen years ago there was a lot of discussion in the gay community, and a lot of hand wringing, about marriage, domestic partnership, commitment ceremonies, and all those things. My radical suggestion at the time grew out of this observation: it seemed that many people opposed to "gay marriage" were not so opposed to the idea of gay couples enjoying the benefits of marriage, but they got extremely bent out of shape by the idea of using the word "marriage" to describe whatever arrangement came along.
In the face of that, and noting that "marriage" is just a word and that it's use was not legally regulated in casual social situations, my radical suggestion was that partnered men should use the vocabulary to describe their partnership: "husband", "marriage", "wedding", etc. It would be a subversive political move that would effect change as no legislature can. My exceptions to using the "marriage vocabulary" included avoiding it in situations where it would just confuse the listener, since it turns out that there are still many people who are not aware that gay people are not allowed legally to marry.
I still think it's a good strategy: free and easy, irritating to our opponents and oppresors but legal.
Before I end, I wanted to share this other paragraph from the Sofia News Agency story (only one of several that seemed distinctly odd, gratuitous even):
Azis, 28, has already delivered a load of highly controversial videos and stage performances and his whims can hardly shock anyone in Bulgaria.
I'm so happy that it takes more than Azis to shock Bulgarians!
Best wishes to Azis and Mr. Kitaetsa.
[I first saw the story at: "Bulgarian Drag Star to Marry his Partner", towleroad, 14 September 2006.]