Haggard's Gay Ministry
Speaking of leading evangelical Ted Haggard, who this afternoon admits to buying meth — only once! — from his long-time friend the gay hooker, here's a tidbit from last year that may be enlightening:
[Ted Haggard] was always on the lookout for spies. At the time [c. 1984, early in the founding of his New Life "church"], Colorado Springs was a small city split between the Air Force and the New Age, and the latter, Pastor Ted believed, worked for the devil. Pastor Ted soon began upsetting the devil's plans. He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church; his whole congregation pitched itself into invisible battles with demonic forces, sometimes in front of public buildings.
[from Jeff Sharlet, "Soldiers of Christ", Harper's, 2 November 2006 (originally from May, 2005).]
It's a tough gig, saving gay souls. Have you ever noticed how the straight priests tend to minister to prostitutes, or pedophile priests tend to prefer to work with children? What is the story, then, on Pastor Ted and his gay ministry, or high-profile ex-gays who go to gay baths for "research"? Does anyone understand why all these men of the cloth are obsessed with gay sex?
Perhaps we're starting to get some insight.
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I welcome comments -- even dissent -- but I will delete without notice irrelevant, rude, psychotic, or incomprehensible comments, particularly those that I deem homophobic, unless they are amusing. The same goes for commercial comments and trackbacks. Sorry, but it's my blog and my decisions are final.
on Sunday, 5 November 2006 at 22.42
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And now Pastor Ted has confessed to "sexual immorality", to, I suspect, zero surprise from gays and lesbians who have been folowing the story. from the Beeb's report of his letter to the congregation:
"There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark and I've been warring against it my entire adult life," the letter said.
This is the saddest part of it all. That he should think that being gay is vile, repulsive and dark; and thus by extension that he himself is vile, repulsive and dark. I've met far too many people — and I know you have too — who have been dumped on by society in general, and churches in particular, being told that homos are scum of the earth. This is far too often how it comes out — someone who lives a split life, who sees himself as deeply flawed, and hates that — and hates himeself.
All sorts of disastrous acting out happens, sometimes of the escape to drugs and pay-for-sex in one compartment (that you can pretend doesn't happen) of life. And the wages of that sin is crushing guilt. Too often it comes out in nastiness to other homos. And think of all that energy that is expended in maintaining the closet, keeping the compartmentalisation going, and the warring within himself.
Far too often such people as Pastor Ted end up getting married, on the (mistaken) belief that marriage will "cure" them. It doesn't, and the spouse (and children) end up downwind of the fan.
THIS is why the closet is awful.
[oh yes — Ship of Fools has just published a mystery worshipper report of Pastor Ted's church – visited on Pastor Ted's 50th birthday.]
on Monday, 6 November 2006 at 00.37
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Yes, Chris, we've both known people so dumped on, who believe they are indeed repulsive and vile. But then, we've also seen quite a few of those people, having reached this nadir in their self-esteem, finally step to the other side where they begin to reintegrate the pieces of their lives that they've been denying, and find a path back to to their humanity that leaves them happier and healthier than they ever could have been before. Of course, it doesn't always happen that way; some never try, some die first.
And it bears repeating that it's all so very, very unnecessary. Could we be seeing the start of a change of attitude in this country? The gay wedge seems to be losing its power for the ultra-conservative. Major "gay" scandals start to get the ho-hum treatment. The forces against marriage equality maybe losing steam. One can hope so, at least.
on Tuesday, 7 November 2006 at 06.17
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Doesn't everyone suffer some measure of being "dumped on by society in general" when it comes to sex? It seems we all have to sort through negative messages: our boobs are too small, our dick is too short, our ass is too big/small, our age is wrong. Isn't there reason for crushing guilt that we all carry? I badly want to start a polygamous sex cult with all the attractive women in my neighborhood, but I seem destined to frustration.
Reverend Ted should have picked a more discreet consort. I imagine the conversation could have gone this way: "Listen, I'm a gay-bashing, big time evangelical preacher with a wife and five kids. I need to keep this quiet." Escort: "(Yawn) Okay. I've got two other guys just like you."
It seems that sneaking around/the risk of getting caught added to the thrill for Ted.
on Thursday, 9 November 2006 at 00.55
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I'm sure everyone suffers for something — people who don't are insufferable, generally speaking — and I'm not going to get into who suffers more. I don't see any good reason for chubby girls to suffer, or for guys to worry about the size of their dicks. I know of far too many men consumed with anger at their parents for circumcising them without their permission, which doesn't serve much purpose.
On the other hand, small dicks, tiny boobs, and fat asses are nowhere illegal (so far), nor have any of the states considered constitutional amendments outlawing them.
Yep, Ted could have been more discreet; he may well have wanted to get caught. And, indeed, the "escort" probably would have heard it all a million times before — there are an awful lot of closets out there filled with married guys lusting for sex with guys. It hurts a lot of families with a lot of needless suffering, and I'd like to see an end to that, too.
on Thursday, 9 November 2006 at 05.47
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Would you say the "closet" is losing its force? I imagine it was strong in the time of Alan Turing, but it seems America is a relatively gay friendly nation today. Not as friendly as you would like, but I think Rev. Ted had issues beyond the closet.
on Thursday, 9 November 2006 at 17.11
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I'd like to think that the closet is losing its force, but it's hard to say. We might be able to say that even if it is as strong as before, it may well be less pervasive. Gay-friendliness has a ways to go, but I think it will continue as more people see less reason to be threatened by gay people.
I think we can be certain that "Rev." Ted had lots of issues beyond the closet — oh my, yes — although he probably thought it one of his big problems, which, of course, in itself made it a really big problem. Homophobia is destructive; internalized homophobia is possibly more destructive.