Fruitcake Metaphysics
I have never much cared for fruitcake. Regardless of the generally low esteem in which fruitcakes have generally been held for as long as I can remember, I was always willing to give them a try but never found them very satisfying. The reasons, I think, are several, among them that I don't much care for strongly flavored breads and cakes, and there are many candied fruits that are just not to my taste, in particular something green and minty tasting (much as I love mint flavors otherwise).
However, until I read this introduction to an article that seems to be trying to reinvent a good reputation for fruitcake — it included a recipe for a less-disgusting incarnation — I hadn't realized the consequences of such a tarnished reputations as fruitcakes have.
For more than 20 years now, it has been generally accepted that your typical holiday fruitcake is so horrible as to be inedible. In such an environment, it has become remarkably challenging to craft a decent joke about fruitcakes. They have all been told.
Fruitcakes, alas, are past the point of being merely hilarious and are perhaps now in grave danger of fading into irrelevancy. If we can't eat them and we can't laugh about them, what further purpose could they serve?
[from Jeremy Jackson, "Fruitcake Redux", Chicago Tribune via Baltimore Sun, undated but I read it c. 15 December 2006. I had a link here once, but it seems to have been transient and I haven't found a permanent link.]
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on Wednesday, 10 January 2007 at 20.09
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Yes, fruitcakes have been disparaged to the point where, if a person admits to having bought one or eaten some, eyes roll and the perp is written off as hopelessly uncool.
I think this came about in large part because over a number of years fruitcakes earned a reputation as copout, or maybe cheapout, Christmas gifts.
For example, Aunt Effie and Uncle Bud, who never had children, send little newphew Herman, age 6, a pair of red suspenders and a fruitcake for Christmas. Or Ebenezer Kropciewicz, who owns a chain of laundromats, gives each of his starvation-wage attendants a mini fruitcake in lieu of a bonus or raise, or even a little extra time off, at Christmas. Or, worst of all, Cal and Brenda send a couple of former good friends (some kind of falling out) the fruitcake they received Christmas before last, which in turn had been re-gifted by someone else the year before that.
As for me, I've had fruitcake that was very enjoyable and fruitcake that was awful. Too much fruit, too little cake, kills it for me. Too much bitter/sour rind in the fruit can also spoil it. And, of course, if it's old and dried out, forget it.
When I was a kid, A&P stores sold usually very good fruitcakes of their own brand each holiday season. They weren't terribly expensive and so were quite popular.
When I was about 12, a neighbor shared a treat. He had a fruitcake he and his wife received the year they were married. For 20 years, he doused it with brandy and resealed it in its tin. Then, he began sharing a wee slice with friends each year. He once gave me and a friend a small piece. It tasted strange but kind of good. It also made my head swim for a couple of minutes.
Now that you mention it, I don't recall bakeries in the two supermarkets I frequent even offering fruitcakes this year. All these recollections are making me want to get one.