Jay Neal: Comment


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Some Comments

Sure, I'm looking rather fierce in this somewhat old (c. 1997) photo, but I like it anyway.

A rhetorical question that no one ever actually asks: "Why pornography?" My short answer: "Why not?" The long answer is, well, much longer.

I suppose it could be the shock value. Externally, in most social situations, and most professional situations, I seem a pretty normal, well mannered, well spoken kind of guy. But deep down inside I'm a pornographer. Just imagine the thrill! A dark, mysterious inner me with hidden compulsions and forbidden desires that bubble to my surface under cover of darkenss and express themselves in steamy, thrusting prose.

Yeah, right. As appealing as that my seem, the truth is much more prosaic, but no less satisfying, just in a different way.

There can indeed be some shock value when I tell friends that I write pornography; they're not sure how they should react to the news. It's rather the way people used to react--or not react--to hearing that a long-time friend is gay. So, by my action and my words, I tell them. I let them know that I think it's normal and healthy and valuable. I work hard to write a good story and I'm happy when one is published and gratified when it's enjoyed by someone else. I want my friends to share my successes and my joys, and they do.

This is a more recent photograph,
c. 2003.

I don't really know why pornography has such a bad reputation. It can't only be because so much of it is simply bad--that seems to me more a reaction to its being devalued (publically) and vilified. I'm sure there are deep truths there about our inhibitions and neuroses related to sex, but they're too tangled for me to sort out. I don't think it would hurt, though, if more people had a more forthright, open and honest relationship with their own sexuality. So, in some sense, I'm a bit of an activist for good mental sexual health.

That's one reason I usually refer to my stories as "pornography"; no "erotica", please! As far as I can tell, "erotica" was a word invented by people who wanted to enjoy pornography but didn't want to feel too queasy about it. It's not a euphemism that I think is particularly healthy, and so I do my best to help people get over their queasiness. Some of my stories don't have hard-core sex in them, some are decidedly more romantic, some are impressionistic, some barely allude to sex at all. But I prefer not to try to distinguish "erotica" from "pornography", since I think it's a false distinction that hinders the wholesome integration of our sexuality into our lives.

Another reason I write pornography is much more serendipitous: I had the opportunity. For a number of years I'd wanted to try writing fiction. For as long as I can remember I'd written, things like technical & scientific papers, reports, proposals, etc. But I wanted to write something, something that seemed creative in a way that scientific writing didn't. I wasn't sure what I wanted to write though, but I thought I'd know it when I saw it.

Several years ago, then, I met Charlie (Eldridge, for those who read American Bear) and discovered that he was a pornographer. I found this very exciting intellectually, and he was willing to encourage me to write a story and see that it got into the hands of the editor at American Bear. I did, he did, and they liked it. And they continued to like stories that I sent to them, much to my satisfaction.

Through Charlie, I'd found an outlet for writing fiction that suited my needs. I had never had a strong liking for reading short fiction, but I found it very appealing to write. The fact that it had sex in it really had little to do with anything except, perhaps, for the sense of personal irony that came from being a white-bread suburbanite who wrote porn.

Writing a good story is tough. Lousy stories, I expect, are easier to write, but I don't know since I try not to write them (your opinion may differ, of course). Finding the right words to put into the right sentences with just the right rhythm to create the right atmosphere and character, at the same time that the plot moves along seamlessly and the story makes a coherent whole in about 3,000 words is always a challenge, but it's a challenge that I like. It's also improved my appreciation for the short-fiction form.

Where are bears in all this? I'm sure that part of my initial attraction to Charlie's proposition was that it was for American Bear. I've always liked men who, in more recent times, have generally become known as bears. Writing about bears just seemed like a good idea, and one that I could do with authenticity. As I do more of it, I keep finding that my characters have more and more to tell me about their lives. I expect that there are many other things I could write about, but right now I choose to write about bears' lives, and I think I have a lot more bear stories to tell before I'm done.