Beard of the Week LXXVII: Come Out and Get Married!
This week's gorgeously multi-colored beard belongs to the newly out-as-gay David Ogden Stiers, beloved of many TV fans for his portrayal of Major Charles Winchester for six years on the television series "M*A*S*H". (Photo source.)
Excerpting from The Advocate:*
Television and voice actor David Ogden Stiers has come out of the closet at age 66.
According to PopEater, when recently asked by the Gossip Boy blog if he is gay, Stiers succinctly said, "Yes, I am. Very proud to be so."
[…]
"I could claim noble reasons as coming out in order to move gay rights forward, but I must admit it is for far more selfish reasons," Stiers said. "Now is the time I wish to find someone and I do not desire to force any potential partner to live a life of extreme discretion for me."
That is a fabulous reason to come out, in addition to all the other reasons one can think of. It's hard enough to find a boyfriend and what are sometimes known in gay circles as mixed marriages (one in, one out) can be very, very difficult to maintain harmoniously. Many differences between partners aren't necessarily serious friction in a relationship†, but I've always felt that there were two serious impediments to harmony in a potential relationship: a big difference in economic status and a big difference in outness.
Not to mention that having a boyfriend facilitates coming out to one's friends, co-workers, and others. For we of the shy-homo ilk, it can be difficult to find an excuse for the bold and direct: "Hi! My name is Jeff! I'm gay!" However, having a new boyfriend provides many a pretext for the indirect, such as "Oh, my new boyfriend and I went to a movie this weekend." Of course, later on one reaches the simple and dignified "I'm Jeff, and this is my partner Isaac." Some day soon we'll probably even move on to the simpler and more dignified "I'm Jeff and this is my husband, Isaac."
So here's our wishing best of luck to Mr. Stiers on finding love and maybe even getting married if he wants to, an idea that was inconceivable back in the "M*A*S*H" days.
Today, of course, we are celebrating Maine's filling out the quincunx of states recognizing marriage equality for same-sex couples. This morning the Maine legislature finished all of its voting and sent the bill to Governor John Baldacci, who seemingly signed it within minutes. I suspect he didn't want to risk losing the #5 spot in the history books to the governor of New Hampshire, who is still prevaricating. One hopes he reads the remarks of Baldacci as he signed the legislation.
This action of Governor Baldacci is surprising and most satisfying. Only a few months ago he had made some noises along the usual "man-woman" line of platitudes, but in recent weeks he began hinting that his attitude was changing. No one seems to know exactly why, but it could be that, as he has said, he listened to people in his state debate the issue, and he reflected, and he realized that he and his state would be better off if he got out of the way of history (to paraphrase Steven Butterfield, House member from Bangor, whose remark was brought to our attention by Chris in the comments).
I want to quote some bits from the Governor's press release ("Governor Signs LD 1020, An Act to End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom", 6 May 2009).
“I have followed closely the debate on this issue. I have listened to both sides, as they have presented their arguments during the public hearing and on the floor of the Maine Senate and the House of Representatives. I have read many of the notes and letters sent to my office, and I have weighed my decision carefully,” Governor Baldacci said. “I did not come to this decision lightly or in haste.”
[…]
“In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions,” Governor Baldacci said. “I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage.”“Article I in the Maine Constitution states that ‘no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor be denied the equal protection of the laws, nor be denied the enjoyment of that person’s civil rights or be discriminated against.’”
There are innumerable occasions when homophobes, during the so-called "debate" over "gay rights" say mean-spirited, hurtful, and hateful things, and I admit that I take them personally. After all when they talk about gay people, they mean me.
Well, the good news is that as each successive state surges forward into history and affirms marriage equality for same-sex couples, I take that personally, too, and it's a very nice feeling.
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* Neal Broverman , "M*A*S*H Star Stiers Comes Out", Advocate.com, 5 May 2009.
† I am, after all, speaking as an atheist married to a Catholic priest.
In: All, Beard of the Week, Current Events, Faaabulosity
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I welcome comments -- even dissent -- but I will delete without notice irrelevant, rude, psychotic, or incomprehensible comments, particularly those that I deem homophobic, unless they are amusing. The same goes for commercial comments and trackbacks. Sorry, but it's my blog and my decisions are final.
on Thursday, 7 May 2009 at 22.26
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what a charming thought, that at age 66 he might find himself a partner. I'm a decade younger and tend to think that my single state is how life is going to be from now on, having been that way long time passing.
on Thursday, 7 May 2009 at 22.44
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It's sweet & romantic. But you know, Chris, partners often pop up unexpectedly just when we think they won't, so be on your guard if you want to remain single.
on Monday, 11 May 2009 at 08.18
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thank you. I've heard that type of "when you least expect it" comment before, usually from people who are partnered. I'm not holding my breath, I must allow.