MyPO
I suspect my mind was in neutral for a few minutes this afternoon — again — when two ideas collided: my own (lack of) personal finances, and the Supreme Court's apparent insistence that corporations should have constitutional rights, just like people. Hey! I thought, if corporations can do things just like people, maybe people should start doing things just like corporations. Now, from that perspective, any number of possibilities leap to mind, but I quickly fixed on one that could help improve my negative-cash-flow problem: I could sell stock in me.
Thus: my public offering, or "MyPO" for short. I'm thinking two classes of stock, common and preferred, so that select shareholders might be allowed more access: they could buy me dinner, for instance, or take me on high-class vacations, or shower me with expensive gifts and negotiable securities. For the common shareholder, they get what any corporate shareholder gets: the illusion that they actually have something to say about my future. The yearly shareholder meetings could be quite a fun party, actually. Of course, all executive powers of the "corpus" would inhere in me, so there would be no nasty scenarios with attempted hostile take-overs, although I might entertain a white knight or two.
I'm thinking of an initial market capitalization of around $24 million, but details will be worked out in the prospectus. And remember: past performance is no guarantee of future behavior.